When we moved to Massachusetts two years ago, we were returning to full time ministry after a difficult two year hiatus. I had just given birth to our third baby three months prior and was deep in the throes of a mental and emotional battle. Postpartum depression and anxiety hit me hard within a few weeks of arriving in Massachusetts and would not relent for over a year. I was suffocating, drowning, buried alive and didn't know how to ask for help. My husband and I disconnected from each other. I was lonelier than I had ever been, but the Lord was so good to me during that time. He proved his faithfulness to me over and over again.
When I came out of that dark and desperate season, I longed for a more intimate relationship with Christ. Postpartum depression unraveled me in a mysteriously beautiful way, but in a lot of ways I felt like I was starting from scratch. I had spent years studying the Bible, serving in ministry, obtaining a degree, but after spending two years praying nothing but, “God, please just help me get out of bed today.”, I felt like I didn’t know Him anymore. I hadn’t studied Scripture the way I used to, hadn’t prayed and interceded like I used to, I wasn’t hearing him speak the way he used to. I was desperate to reclaim the relationship we had before hormones and a difficult transition took over my mind.
I started thinking back on Bible College days and the words that were spoken over me, promises given to me, and the many sweet times of intercession and communion with Christ. I yearned for those days again. But God, as he always does, sent me a loving reminder,
“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19
In seasons of uncertainty, of trials, and in transitions, it's hard not to look back to the way things were. But we can’t spend our lives grasping at the past, trying to reclaim some fragment of the way things used to be. Instead of resisting difficult seasons, we can embrace them and lean into them as seasons of learning and shaping. If we look back at all on our previous spiritual mountain tops, we should look back with fondness, not yearning. God is doing a new thing! How wonderful that we can experience God’s grace and mercy new every morning! What a joy it is to open his word every day, knowing that he will speak fresh promises and truth to our hearts.
He is a doing a new thing in you, in me, in us, in our cities, and in our world. Let’s not look backwards with longing but look with hopeful hearts at what he’s doing now and what he will do in the future.
“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do : forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:13-14
What new thing is God doing in you?
Written By : Kristen LaValley